Your daughter calls home and says her roommate is ignoring her. Or your son says his roommate stays up till 2 every night, plays his music too loud, uses all the outlets, and leaves piles of books and dirty shorts everywhere. Is there a solution?
Sharing close quarters with someone can be a growing experience. Fun, yes, but also difficult, scary, and sometimes downright ugly. This is especially true if the roommates are very different from each other: one neat and one sloppy … one a TV watcher and one a reader … one an early riser and one a late-nighter.
Dorm supervisors and RAs can help students resolve roommate differences. And here’s some advice you as a parent can give your college students.
- Don’t expect too much. Your roommate might become your best friend, or you may run in different crowds and just share the room. Either way is okay.
- Don’t insist on your own way in everything. Your roommate is paying for the room too.
- Don’t give in to your roommate on everything. You rightly need certain conditions for your health, your studies, and your sanity. You can certainly ask that the lights be off at 2 in the morning. That the window be open a bit for fresh air. That the dirty clothes be out of sight. That the music volume be low when you’re studying. And you don’t have to lend out your favorite shirt if you don’t want to.
- Don’t keep all your feelings in, thinking that you’re being nice. You’ll just become angry and resentful, which will come out later in other ways.
- Don’t let all your feelings out, whining about everything little thing. Instead, give some of the little irritations time to work themselves out. Who knows? You might just learn to love country music.
- Do practice Christian love and basic human decency.
- Do ask.
- Do apologize.
- Do be polite and considerate.
- Do be flexible.
- Do have a sense of humor–some days you’re going to need it!
